"SELAMAT HARI RAYA...
MAAF ZAHIR BATIN..."

hello kuala lumpur..i'm back...
today...raya keempat...haaiiiyyyyaa....luckily traffic went so smoooth...or if otherwise..haiiiyyya...!!manyak letih woooo...

hehehheheh...hows raye?everything okay?
well..hopefully semuanya okay..even harap2 sume bertambah baik...
berat badan bertambah....
poket bertambah.....(ber+ kembung or ber+ kering??)
ketenangan hati bertambah..
keakraban silaturrahim bertambah....
dn mcm2 lg la yg bertambah..
smoga kemaafan di hari raya menambah lagi keberkatan kita semua...

by da way...sepanjang beraya...
ade one thing yg aku selalu terperasan...
which is...kemalangan....
actually...byk sgt kucing2 mati di tgh or tepi jalan..
kesian sgt kat kucing2 tu...
sure terlampau laju..till x dpt brek...,rite?

actually..aku pun byk gak kene bebel ngn sedare mare..
coz bw laju katanya..but anyway...kalu bleh elak tu elak la..sian la kat kucing2 tu..ish2..
sedeh jugek tau...

sepanjang blk kmpung..., i think i am not really satisfied with this year pnye raye la..
main problem is...family inner problem...
2ndly, wpould be pakcik makcik and sedara mara yg berebut2 nk kitorg tdur umah dorg...
i appreciate that they are all love us vry much..
but anyway, its raya maa...we want to go anywhere we wanted to...
planning b4 balik kampung sume x jadik...
aiseh...frust pun ade gak...but anyway..plan dorg utk kitorg pun still best gak la kan...
ni kalu dorg baca ni..sure kecik ati nih..ehehhehe...
ampun semua...ct nur ni mmg mcm ni...
die ni mmg susah nk puas hati kalu ape yg die nk buat tp x dpt buat...
but anyhow...i am truely grateful of anything that i have...alhamdulllah...
eh...got to go la..
sambung later k...

salam aidilfitri..ampun maaf zahir batin..,
**pawana malam**

can u describe when i said i have no words to say....???

there's no words....
there's no feelings....
there's no regrets...
there's no you...
there's always all about me...
bcoz only "me "that matters more...
see...how cruel i am now??
am i?ahahhaha...

what will u say when there's no reply?
what will u feel when there's no reply?
what will u regret when there's no reply?
what will u imagine when there's no news?
what will u think when there's no even a word?
that matters more!!!!

its not how mad i am..
its not how useless u are..
its not the tears that i ask for...
its not the regret that i wanted u to feel...
but now....
what left with me is just...
just feelingless....
no mad..
no upset..
no regret..
no happy..
no feeling..
not to anyone..
nothing...

but i know...it wont stay that long in my heart...the emptiness will go away..
maybe a minute from now..
maybe an hour from now..
maybe tomorrow..
mybe a one day...
or two days...
mybe a week..
who knows?
or mybe by da time i wake up tomorrow...i'll feel better..
well..i dont have the answer...
pray for me....

anyway..all i know is..i have my own "kekuatan hati"
that will help me get through everything...

till then..see ya..
feelingless,
pawana malam

perkara bodoh...
kesayuan lagu kitaro mengelilingi sekitar malam ini..
mengingatkan aku..
pada suatu malam...
tanggal 13 oktober 2006
akan kusemat ke dalam ingatan
aku dan kebodohanku...
lingkaran jam 5 hinggalah hampir 9.30 mlm..
aku kegelisahan...
namun andai aku ceritakan..
akan hanya mengukir tanggapan bodoh pada setiap pembacanya..
tentang kebodohan aku...
yang aku cari..

tapi kini baru kutahu...
bahawa kebodohan yg selama ini aku lihat dlm adegan filem dn drama..
sebenarnya wujud pada hakiki manusia..
wujud pada realiti kehidupan..
dan kini..antara sedar dn tidak..
aku lah dia antara pelakon kepada kisah cereka ini..
bkn rekaan..tp gerak hati..
yg tidak akurancang..
kini telah ku lalui..
walau bkn atas nama cinta..
tp kasih dn sayangku..
pada seseorg yg ku anggap jauh lebih mulia dr perikatan cinta..
sesungguhnya aku harus tahu...
dn sememangnya aku sedar.
hubungan suci ini lebih suci dr hubungan cinta..
kerna aku percaya..
andai ikatan cinta..pasti boleh terputus..
tp andai ikatan ini..takkan mudah terputus..
kerna kesucian pada namanya.

apa yg mampu aku coretkan di sini....
adalah bait2 di bawah...

"kesedihan dn kegelisahanku hilang dtelan kesibukan dn keriuhan di hentian itu.."
"lalu aku melangkah dgn penuh kekecewaan dgn tiada perasaan.."

8.45 mlm di hentian itu..aku bagaikan merpati yg mencari seekor lagi merpati di dlm kawanan gagak2 liar...

only me knew the story.....
may u be happy wherever u are..

pencarian...
**pawana malam**

http://www.love.2loop.com/

ini link aku dpt dlm frenster...hehhehe
klakar actually..
tp well..boleh buat aku smile...and then getting very happy..
one big applouse from me goes to are-choi sbb bg link ni...
made me happy...its a simple thing but indeed give good effect to me..huhu


here is the love story of mine...as written in the fun link..

"One

sweet summer day at

heaven you see the most

not egoistic creature you have ever seen. Their name is

*** , and every move

he makes just turns you on more and more. You nudge your best friend

*** and say, "Wow, that has to be the most

understanding body I have ever seen." Suddenly,

he looks in your direction and starts walking right towards you!!!

he says, "I noticed you staring at me from over there. I just had to tell you, that I think you are so

romantic , and was wondering if you'd like to go to

paradise with me and

dancing ?" With a stupid smile on your face you say, "

emmmm..heheh " and go with them. When you finally get to

paradise ,

he moves closer to you, and gives you the biggest kiss ever. The two of you are passionately kissing, when you feel a

magic stick hit you on the back of the head. You open your eyes to find out it's all a dream, but there is a note left next to your bed.
It reads: "

*** is the love you've been waiting your whole life for.

he will ask you out in

6 and 7 days or less, but only if you send this e-mail to at least 10 people within the next few minutes. The more people you send it to, the sooner they will ask you out, and you both fall in love. Do not take this lightly, because if you simply ignore this, you will have bad luck in love for the next

6 and 7 years!"

hahhahah.....it is very fun..hehhehe...but at least it made me smile..and ****************..hehehh

today is the last sahur in mmu cyberjaya....what can i say....eemm...hehhehe...ntahla

things that i think i have no opportunity to do before i go back home for raya....:-

• visit bazaar ramadhan putra with my abg..(always x dpt contact die time berbuka)
• visit bazaar ramadhan bangi with my abg :( (tlg tnjk jln)
• visit bazaar ramadhan bangi with my frends ( xde org tnjk jln..waaaa)
• hang out with my friends at jmbtn putra (happy friendship moment in ramadhan)
• eat ice-cream vanilla with my friend,mila at jambatan putra
• walking in the middle of the night to street mall.. looking for ice-cream vanilla with my abg ..(nk try pi jln kaki..& so that i have a moment to remember..huhu)
• break fast with my abg....just two of us..(so that can be remembered by both..adik n abg)
• going to somewhere nice with my friends and my abg...( i can gather with those that i love so much in ramadhan)

well....memandangkan its already two days and one night left...i dont think i have the opportunity to fulfill them...

plus..its about too much,rite? emm..well, i am byk songeh,rite..thats why...

and here i am telling people about this when i do feel very sad...thats me..i always trying to tell someone...what i feel when i feel bad..so that, i'll just feel much more better...

actually i started to admit that i am feeling better when telling my bloody huge problems to someone just a few weeks before..the day that i think there's a right person to share my story..that is the starting point..

anyway...a sweet moment yesterday....10 th october 2006....

we went out to times squre for berbuka beramai2...dh lama x gather cmtu..mizz u guys..

i spend so much time with my silat gang and my beloved abg....the first abg..not this mmu one...hehhehe

my beloved gang...actually..ramai lagi..tp dlm camera lain..there were 25 of us yesterday...yg lelaki2 malu2 la konon nk amik gmbr tu..hehhe

da boy in red is my abg..hehe...mmmuuuaahhh...

tertarik dgn sepotong ayat yang di forward oleh seorang member ni....
ayatnyer berbunyi begini......

" KECANTIKAN LELAKI Kecantikan seorang lelaki bukan kepada rupa fizikal tetapi pada murni rohani. Lelaki yang cantik,adalah:- 1)Lelaki yang mampu mengalirkan airmata untuk ingatan( sanggup mengalirkan air mata kerana sayang) 2)Lelaki yang sedia menerima segala teguran 3)Lelaki yang memberi madu,setelah menerima racun 4)Lelaki yang tenang dan lapang dada 5)Lelaki yang baik sangka 6)Lelaki yang tak pernah putus asa Kecantikkan lelaki berdiri di atas kemuliaan hati. Seluruh kecantikan yang ada pada Nabi Muhammad S.A.W adalah kecantikan yang sempurna seorang lelaki....."


x salah berkongsi bukan??..

lagu ni aku tgk mcm sesuai plak ngn abg aku yg tgh frust tu..
kalu dgr lagu ni mcm dgr abg aku plak yg nyanayi...ahhah
kisahnye serupa le kot...ntah la..
emm...sian aku dgr org ni nyanyi..mcm feeling habis...
mcm tu la agaknya abg aku rasa kot....
aih...sian plak akat abg aku ek..
manela die pegi ?? lama dah x nampak dier....
membawa diri barangkali...ish..kesian..
emm..sekali sekala menyebelahi die yg bersedih tu xper kot...
ehehhehehehehhehe....
walaupun aku ni x suke kesedihan sbb ia akan buat aku jd lemah...

anyway, i found this song is very suitable for u...
actually a fren of mine send it to me..
she said "mcm kisah abg hang la.."
pastu kami gelak sama2..ahhahahha
hey mila..u are my fren la...thenks beb for being wimme in sunny and cloudy day..
hehehhe....
mila ni kan...kalu kami berpisah...kami akan saling ckp "i hate u"sambil tersenyum...hehheheh...
ade secret tu..kami je tau kann..kan...hehheh
eh..back to abg aku pnyer story...
hehheheh...so abg...where ever u are..
just hayati la lagu ni yek..hehe..miss u...
so,,here u are....!!
A sad song .....

Maha Karya Cintaby Faizal [oiam]
Begitu berat melangkah
melihat kau bersamanya
adakah aku yang salah
atau hanya helah saja

Ku masih menicntai diri kamu
biar kau menjauh...
ku rindu

Chorus:
Kau bagaikan udara
yang membantu aku
untuk terus hidup di atas dunia
tanpamu ku lemah
pasti aku tak berdaya
kerna kau maha karya cinta

Biarpun kau tidak mahu
menerima kasih daku
ku kan setia bersamamu
sehingga ke akhir waktu

Ku masih menyayangi diri kamu
biar kau berlalu...ku rindu

*repeat chorus
kau takkan dapat aku lupakan
kerna kaulah puja cinta kita
mengajar aku erti bahagia
kembali padaku semula

*repeat chorus
Dengarlah pesanan daku
yang akan terus menunggu...

by khy


see....die tulis.."by khy"...
ish..musykil aku..
sbb abg aku ni..kalu melukis..die akan tulis signature die sbg "kai"...
hehhehe..mcm btul je die tulis lirik ni...
ahahhahaha...ngarut je aku pg2 buta ni...
maklumla..tgh ngidam ice cream vanilla...
ehehheheh....nk mkn nasi..malas plak..
kan dah ngidam bnda yg x berpekdah...
hehehhe...

aih....mcm nak berjalan2...nk try jalan kaki g street mall..tp seramm la mlm2 bute ni
kalu ade lelaki jd geng bleh gak..hehhehe

aku ni mmg la agaknye..byk songeh..ahahhahha...
again..,abg aku ckp aku troublesome la kalu ade dpn aku skrg..ahahhah...
troublesome pon troublesome la..biaq la..ahhahaha
this is me...i am what i am..hahhahha
till then..see u ...
NAK ICE CREAM VANILLA..........:((

its the bloody idiot desire to eat ice cream vanilla..
end up looking at the window...
telling myself its too late already to have an ice cream..
in the middle of the night..ahahhah....
haiiyyyaaa...
wake up la ct nur...aiiyyyyoooo...
ahhahahha....

On a dark desert highway Cool wind in my hair Warm smell of colitas Rising up through the air Up ahead in the distance I saw a shimmering light My head grew heavy, and my sight grew dim I had to stop for the night There she stood in the doorway I heard the mission bell And I was thinking to myself This could be Heaven or this could be Hell Then she lit up a candle And she showed me the way There were voices down the corridor I thought I heard them say
Welcome to the Hotel California Such a lovely place Such a lovely place (background) Such a lovely face Plenty of room at the Hotel California Any time of year Any time of year (background) You can find it here You can find it here
Her mind is Tiffany twisted She's got the Mercedes Benz She's got a lot of pretty, pretty boys That she calls friends How they dance in the courtyard Sweet summer sweat Some dance to remember Some dance to forget So I called up the Captain Please bring me my wine He said We haven't had that spirit here since 1969 And still those voices are calling from far away Wake you up in the middle of the night Just to hear them say
Welcome to the Hotel California Such a lovely Place Such a lovely Place (background) Such a lovely face They're livin' it up at the Hotel California What a nice surprise What a nice surprise (background) Bring your alibi's
Mirrors on the ceiling Pink champagne on ice And she said We are all just prisoners here Of our own device And in the master's chambers They gathered for the feast They stab it with their steely knives But they just can't kill the beast Last thing I remember I was running for the door I had to find the passage back to the place I was before Relax said the nightman We are programmed to receive You can check out any time you like But you can never leave....
u can never leave....

the words i dedicate them to my abg..the new abg..

specially for u...

may u read this and try to really understand deeply...

Fly
fly little abg..
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud
the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of yours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again

Fly
fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this memory of bittersweet
Until u'll meet

Fly,
fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath,
don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure,
your soul is free
Be on your way,
don't wait for anybody
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise,
the sun will set
But just forget..

Fly,
fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now,
find the light..


take ur time my abg..but do no spend so much time till u dont have anymore time left....
that will make u regret them when u're 40 years from now...
have faith in me so that i can have faith in you..
even u hate the sentence..i'll just will say it to u many times more afterwards...ahahhah..
"PLEASE JUST TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF,ABG..."

what would i do when i do not know??
will i let them go?
well..i wont let them go..
or maybe..
i should let them go..
or even maybe..
i could not let them go..
if it is maybe..
i should let them go..
well maybe..
i just cant bear let them go..
because maybe i just will them go
simply hardly because i just cannot handle on letting them go...??

which one better?
good enough if u have the choices..
at least u can choose..
what if the choice are all not for choosing..
but for punishing..??

who will answer?
who wil ever answer?
or maybe the right question is..
"who would like to answer it for the rest of my life??"

1. 
   
   
6. aduh....

it just reaaaallly made my eyes open..
i was on my way to my campus..with my mom.
of course got to send my mom to the office first..
well..then, on the way to the office..i was using a highway..which i know will jam giler at this time around...(7 am ++)

so,my mum and me dicided to take the short cut (even we din really sure..but pnah tgk other kete lalu la)...actually jln dlm sebelah highway jer..
so, bile ade exit kiri.just masuk dgn confidence..
its jalan bertanah merah..
dlm hati..i started to scold myself..(damn ! abis kete aku)..
Anyway..we both tempuh jugak la even my mum din cnfident on da road itself..i said.."sokay mum..ade jalan kuar ni nnt..dpn tu jer."
Well.yup tre's a jln kuar..but, after i almost jahanamkan my car...coz got to seberang like a parit yg berlekuk giler..aiihhh...bp kali aku beristigfar..entahla...luckily lepas gak kete tu..thanks allah..

NOT to finish till that..then i terpaksa gak kuar balik jln highway..coz dh xde jln till ujung..aihh...so,bile masuk balik highway tu..xsampai 5 min..trus tempuh jam..which means i have to tempuh jugak..till the traffic lights..gosh..it such a terrible traffic lights..plus..org berpusu2 nk g keje..so,,paham2 jele..sabor besar aku pg td..aih..
Then, while tgu jam tu...i started tu muhasabah diri balik about what i've been through just now..(even though dok membebel sama skali ngn my mum la kan...ehhehe..)

So, the moral of da story is...."WALAU PUN KITE CUBE SEDAYA UPAYA KITA UTK DPTKAN APA YG KITA MAHU..ANDAI ALLAH TIDAK PERKENANKANNYA..IA TETAP TAKKAN DAPAT KITA MILIKI ATAU KECAPI..DAN, PASTI ADA HIKMAH KE ATAS SETIAP YG BERLAKU.."

ouch...touching la..deeply touched by the experience..emm..anyway, gud day to all..

allah know what best for us..believe in that..:-)