kerja..kerja..yeay..

yeehhhhahaaaa....

my first day working in this new company...
my feeling, okay...
my mind, okay...
my body, okay...
my energy, okay...
my health..tak okay...semalam demam...huhu:(

well, aku hrp aku akan suka kerja baru ni..dan akan terus suka la..dan seterusnya juga suka..
dan suka..dan suka lagi..hehehhe....

lagi satu, aku harap dapat bonus byk akhir tahun nanti..
then, harap jugak kenaikan gaji yang banyak..
dan aku harap aku suker..dan suker...
dan hepi...dan gembira...ehheheh

today, hati aku berbunga2 walaupun xbyk bunga yg aku nmpak kat ofis ni...

What do we name it?

Name it something..
Melt the hope..
Curiosity that ends the words
Merge the free thoughts
Come clean upside down..
Speak on behalf of mind
Consciously fought the responsibilities

Does it time to be free?
Frowning and grinning..
Dancing and Singing..
Swimming in the air..
Grumbling devotion..
Its necessity..
It’s the wants..
It’s the simple “ask”..
Lifting up the loaded..
Of life and life..

Get nosy on “those” life..
We’re just blind..
Know we’re here..
But didn’t feel to be here..
The destiny is there..
But as what?
For what?
With what?
Spells the beans that nobody hears..
Tells the story that nobody knows..
Scream it loud that nobody listens..
Its not me when it has to be me..
Its not what I want when I have to..
Its not my time whenever its time..

Do it..
Make sure its done..
But its all we have..
Do for the sake of not being selfish..
Coz you are definitely..
Unquestionably not alone in the air..
That requires you for not being selfish..
As being alone in this whole air is just..
Just nothing much as nothing..
That why they call it “life”..

dan dgn perasaan

aku kaku..aku seolah sebak..dan sayu..tiba2 aku rndu...
lama sudah kutinggalkan suara itu..

mungkin kerna aku berbicara dgn temannya..
maka aku dihambat rasa rindu..yg jauh..

lalu ku angkat gagang telefon dan mendail number die..
suasana spt di atas motor..aku malas mahu bercakap..
sikit lagi nk sampai rumah, katanya..
kutunggu sehingga enjin motor dimatikan..

dan perbualan hati itu bermula...
berayun...dan berirama...
hingga satu saat, aku hiba..
hampir menitiskan air mata..
mungkin dia di sebelah sana tidak tahu..
ah..biarkan aja..aku selesa begini..

kutanya "apa yg plg awk syg dlm dunia?"
jawabnya.."ada 2..awk org kedua yg sy pernah beritahu..
pertama..org yg sy syg dn kedua, org yg sy syg yg dah tiada.."
"macam awaklah..", sambungnya lagi...
kutanya.."saya?" dan dia menjawab..."ya..org yg saya sayang.."

giliran dia bertanya..kujawab..
"apa yg sy plg syg ialah perasaan.."
dibalas olehnya.."oh..perasaan..emmm, besar maknanya"
mungkin sy boleh buat satu puisi mengenai perasaan..."

topik demi topik kami bualkan..
hingga aku minta diri...
bila aku rasa rindu itu sudah kulepaskan,
aku akhiri perbualan kami dgn "take care"..
dn dia akhiri dgn kata2 yg simple namun indah..

sesudah gagang kuletakkan..
aku berteleku lama di situ..
"perlukah aku beritahu bhw panggilanku itu sama ertinya dgn kata2 "i miss u..."


dan itulah pertama kali dlm tahun kebelakangan ini, aku berperasaaan dan berbual dgn perasaan dan setelah habis perbualan..aku turut masih berperasaan...

setakat ini...dia lah yg mampu menggegarkan perasaaan ini..ya...dengan perasaan...

its so yesterday..

The air is there..
The muddle is still there..
The courage will be there..
Then the audacity went away..
perceiving the most popular obsession made me laugh..
I fabricate my inspiration there..
I manufacture my trust there..
I assemble every single things in it..

However,
Yesterday was such momentous…
I lost the guts..
Bump into you is something..
Out of the blue..

brought all the memory back..
For things we all have made..
For the time we all spent…
For the enjoyment we all experience..
For the odds that we against..
The same “fight” that we fought for..

Oh..your visibility made my eyes staggered,
Your visibility made my bones to shiver
Coz u appeared with the memoirs
Reminiscences of my own people..

strangers that covert to so called "family"..
That I used to hold years before..
The people that made me believe,
Made me grin and made me smile..
And at most made me giggle…
Then they took away the smile..
Gone together with them..
Sinking deep inside the ocean..
Where I call it ocean of the memory…

It’s a confession..
The love we all shared..
Was eternity…
And still infinites..
And it will be always damn true..
That our big family love is forever..


But now..
The love is sinking…
Inside of me..
As time flies..
I begin to forget..
The existence..
When u appears,
You made me doubt too..
Whether I’ve made a right choice..
Down there on the diverged pathway..

but it was yesterday...

its so ysterday that i couldnt fetch it back..

now its time to hope..

there is a smooth grassy path up to the hill..

where i put my dream on the top...

together with the tomorrow..

all i can say is just...

"it was yesterday..."

"so yesterday..."

aaiiiiihhhh...

First situation

I’m just plain bored girl who thinks I am now under a surveillance of “someone”…
I want to do things that I want. Yesterday I come across this one fella. He said he wanted to do good things in life as he understood that he’s being an evil man in this wonderful life..Despite of everything, I think he is enjoying his life..and upon that, I started to think that I’m living a bored dull life. I just need might need a 400 cc of any drugs or morphine that can make my mind works all over again. After all, it’s a life taker anyway..ahhahahhah…I must have lost my sense ,huh?hehhehe…

2nd situation

I start to think that I should get to know new things..Start all over again a new life..Oh, by the way, why do I need to think of that…while daydreaming and patching my mind over and over again, this hot chick with white short skirt accidentally put her paper bag on my foot. So, all the those things faded away out of my head. Suddenly out of all noise in the train, I heard this one charming white guy say sumthing.. ”are u okay, mom?”
Yeah, I think that old lady needs this seat more than I do…So, I gave her the seat, and I caught her son’s smile..yuhuuu…hehhe..And guess wht? Lord is just very fair; the woman who sat beside that old white lady reached her station, which give a way for me to sit. There you goes, what u give, u get back..hehhe..So, while waiting the train to reach the last station whish is the same station, our destination…we had a conversation..From the conversation, I know that that charming white guy and his mom came from England.He is getting divorced, he married a malay girl which stays in Tmn Greenwood. He wants to meet his daughter. And he has a son in England now.Well, nice meeting him and his mom.. Meeting them had burst and idea to me..Am I bored bcoz I’m living the same life? Surrounds by same people? I wanna get out of Malaysia….Am I ?oh, that sounds great…

wajah baru....anti lelaki??

hehehhehe

aku angap penukaran color page ku ini sbg pertukaran "angin"ku..
kalau slama hr ni aku membawa angin monsun timur laut( betul ke spelling aku ni..?aihh..),
kini aku nk bawa angin barat daya pulak...

almaklumlah...semalam aku check online....
result aku dah kuar..alhmdulillah pass..yyeeaahhhaaa....
means, aku akan grad ..yeahh...finish degree....bleh la aku plan nk smbg master kat mana nnt..hehhe...tp first thing in my mind is....cari kerja...kerja..kijo...kroje...hehhe

dan satu lagi hal yg keep stir in my mind....
jeng jeng jeng..."berpacaran.."
keh keh keh..bolehkah aku menerima si opposite jantinaku?
adakah degree dn "masih study lagi" adalah alasanku?
is it reasonable?atau anti-lelaki kah aku?
aih..mintak simpang....rasanya bkn anti kot...sbb aku suka gak tgk lelaki2 yg "menarik" ni...(menarik- tertakluk kpd istilahku sendiri sahaja,kay..)

ok...let all the readers decide which category goes to me...

1- Bila lelaki tu tgk dr jauh, aku senyum...
tp bila dtg dekat, aku buat muka...

2- Bila lelaki "menarik" ada dpn mata aku...dr jauh, aku 'usha'..
tp bila die kenyit mata...aku buat muka..

3- Bila dpt sms dlm hari pertama, aku layan mesra...
tp bila dh hari kedua bertimbun2 dia send, aku mula rasa die ngada2...aku pun buat la muka..

4- Bila lelaki tu dtg cari ajak mkn2 sejam dua, aku ok aja..tp bila dia ajak tgk movie hari esoknya pula...aku mula buat muka..

5- Bila aku setuju nk keluar tgk wyg sama2, aku enjoy aja..tp bila die ajak keluar lagi kali kedua, aku mula rasa mcm nk buat muka...

kenapa?kenapa?

dn yg plg kritikal....Bila lelaki kata "suka", aku jwb ikhlas...aku pun "suka"...
tp bila dia kata dia mula rasa "cinta"...aku mula rasa nak tarik muka dari si dia..dan aku mula kata kat diri aku.."aduh....bahaya..."aih...